You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All the doctor said was why
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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