dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
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