So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
