I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
ok first of all what the fuck
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
