i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
