HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
