Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
