So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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