I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We smell like vodka and hangover
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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