I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
