evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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