I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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