The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
