so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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