I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize