I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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