By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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