she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
