that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
