the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
