Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
