He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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