I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
