I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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