I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
