So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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