im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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