After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
