he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize
