I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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