just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
