I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
