Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
