sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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