It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
