my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize