If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
