You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
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