You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
