she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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