My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize