too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
