Well apparently he's into motor boating.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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