Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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