This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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