Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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