Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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