where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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