omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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