I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
