oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
