Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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