I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
