pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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