THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
