Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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