Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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