My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize