He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
