nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize